Actor
This is the person (for example Kevin Costner) who stands in front of the camera and pretends to be someone else. Not to be confused with a director (for example Martin Scorsese) who stands behind the camera and tells everyone including the actors what they want them to do. There seemed to be some confusion about this amongst Academy members in 1990. |
Anime
Cartoons featuring simplistic writing, broad emotions, zero subtlety and an aggresively sexual presentation of extremely young looking females, or 'waifus'. resulting in a strange and childish end product for which a worryingly large number of fully grown adult males claim a great appreciation. Given the increasing popularity of anime expect to see the academy embrace them at some point. |
Biopic
A largely pointless collection of films about real people who were in the public eye for one reason or another. Pointless because they're rarely accurate depictions of the life and events surrounding famous figures, and almost never show the subject in any other light than the current public perception, being instead mostly nostalgia driven puff pieces, or agenda driven hatchet jobs. In the case of people who were famous during the modern age real footage is available for film makers to instead make a documentary which would give a far more accurate representation of a person and their thoughts on life, but that's rarely the point of biopics. Rather, like sequels, they're simply the lazy and safe way to make a lot of money by catering to a built-in audience who are familiar with the subject matter and want to be entertained rather than informed. Something Hollywood is very good at and so are pre-disposed to favor during Oscar season. |
Chick-Flick
There are two types of chick-flick. The first will never collect any Oscars. These are ditzy comedies where young females obssess over their looks and their chances of hooking up with cute guys. The second type of chick-flick has been known to do very well at the Oscars. These films play on the perceived warm fuzziness and easily manipulated emotions of women - hence the name, but they work equally well on Academy members, most of whom have easily tuggable heart-strings. A successful chick-flick should conform to some (or preferably all) of the following criteria:
1. The protagonist should be female.
2. Should star Meryl Streep and/or Shirley Maclean and/or Susan Sarandon.
3. Events of a 'tragic' or, alternatively, 'uplifting' nature must happen at least every ten minutes, preferably to the protagonist.
4. The climax should be designed such that people will cry; whether it be due to tragedy or joy makes no difference. |
Grim Reaper Effect
A sad but entirely predictable phenomenon whereby if there is a nominee (particularly in the acting category) who is very old and looking as if they may not be with us much longer, their chances of winning the Oscar increase dramatically. This is especially true if they have been around Hollywood for years but have never received any official recognition thus far. 1981 was a golden year for the Grim Reaper Effect: Witness both Katherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda's win for On Golden Pond, and John Gielgud for best supporting actor in Arthur. |
The Gimp Factor
The Academy are very impressed by the portrayal of people with unnatural tics, weird speech impediments, shambling gaits, mental shortcomings, or physical disabilities/imperfections (Gimpishness). They are, therefore, more likely to award the Oscar to actors who incorporate these failings into their performance, and the more the better. This is known as the Gimp Factor. The more Gimpishness portrayed, the higher the Gimp Rating (see below) the actor would receive. For example; Daniel Day Lewis played a paraplegic with control over only his left foot in My Left Foot, and would therefore have a Gimp Rating of almost 100%, while Tom Cruise played a Vietnam vet who is paralysed from the waist down in Born On The Fourth of July, thus giving him a Gimp Rating of only 50%, making Daniel Day Lewis an almost dead-cert for taking the Oscar home (which he did). |
Gimp Rating
The degree of Gimpishness displayed by an actor. The higher the Gimp Rating, the greater the probability of success come Oscar Night. |
Hardcore
A stance or position that a filmmaker will take which is likely to alienate much of the Hollywood Academy, the majority of whom are old, conservative and easily offended, resulting in the filmmaker being snubbed when it comes to handing out the goodies come Oscar night, regardless of how good the film is. Examples would be David Lynch's Blue Velvet and Tony Kaye's American History X. |
Hollywood
Where some of the films I love are made. Also where most of the films I hate are made. |
International Film
Films that are not made in Hollywood. Every year a small proportion of academy members are forced to watch a half dozen or so of these. |
Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep is to an Oscar Nomination what the the fluffy bits of velcro are to the hooky bits. |
The Spider Clause
Like the spider in the tale of Robert The Bruce; If at first you don't succeed try, try again. There seems to be a clause in the Academy's handbook which states that persistence will eventually be rewarded. So if you are continually nominated for an Oscar but are always passed over, eventually you'll win it - just hang in there. The only catch is you'll get it for a performance that is nowhere near as good as the one you gave years ago when winning an Oscar would have helped your career immeasurably. A good example is Paul Newman winning the best actor Oscar for The Color of Money, after years of great performances and six nominations, when he should have won in 1961 for The Hustler. |
Superhero Movie
The dominant form of filmed entertainment coming out of Hollywood for the forseeable future. Featuring simplistic good versus evil tales, bombastic scores and outrageous special effects these are basically live action cartoons for teenagers. However, many adults will cite a superhero movie as their favorite film of all time when asked, so it's only a matter of time until the academy votes for one of these movies as the best film of the year, cementing the downfall of cinema once and for all. |
