Breaking The Waves (Denmark - 1996)

Emily Watson is Bess - a young Scottish girl living on one of the islands in the North Sea who marries a much older Scandanavian man who works on the oil rigs. After he's paralysed in an accident he asks her to basically engage in promiscuous sex with the other islanders so he can vicariously experience them through her. That's really quite disturbing because the situations Bess finds herself in are psychologically devastating for a person who's been around the block a few times, let alone Bess who's such an innocent soul, and we know, even if she doesn't that the outcome hasn't a chance of being anything but tragic. To cap it all off Bess becomes a pariah on the island, ending up being despised by the very people that are a party to her behaviour. She finally dies a humiliating and painful death at the hands of some vicious sailors, which is depressing enough, but when the prurient and hypocritical island church officials deem her sins in life to be so heinous as to deny her a decent burial it's just too much to take. This is one of the most profoundly tragic and disturbing tales ever set to celluloid, helped tremendously by a stellar performance from Emily Watson, and a great script by von Trier.

Cyrano De Bergerac (France - 1990)

Jean Paul Rappeneau's heartbreaking tale of unrequited love still stands head and shoulders above anything being produced today. Gerard Depardieu gives a barnstorming performance as the long nosed title character - a man who'll take on any amount of adversaries with a swagger and a grin, but crumbles in the face of revealing his desire for Roxane, the woman he loves. When Christian - a new recruit in his regiment who's short on brains and long on libido falls for Roxane and asks his help to seduce her he agrees as he'll be able to say all the things he's wanted to say to her through someone else. The two embark on an almost military campaign of seduction with Cyrano providing the poetry and Christian the looks. It sounds like something from a sitcom, and indeed this classic love triangle has been adapted many times to suit all kinds of cheap and cheerful schlock, but this is the real deal. It's painful to see the miserable situation Cyrano has created play itself out, and of course when Roxane finally realises it's Cyrano she's fallen for it's too late. Because we've seen variations of this tale a thousand times with the happy ending tacked on it's a real shock when he dies without them ever being together. That's much more like real life, and that's why this film is so heart-wrenching.

The Elephant Man (USA - 1980)

Set in Victorian England, this is the true story of John Merrick, a man so hideously disfigured he can hardly stand up and can't sleep lying down. John Hurt, as Merrick, is superb under acres of prosthetics and gives a performance of such sorrowful grace that the viewer feels tremendous empathy with him almost instantly, and Anthony Hopkins gives a deeply moving performance as the doctor who takes Merrick under his wing and is the only character in the film with whom we as sympathetic onlookers can identify. He provides an anchor for the audience in the face of such cruel and uncaring treatment by the various characters Merrick comes into contact with, and his horror at such mistreatment of another human being is mirrorred by our own. Lynch wisely uses black and white photography in this film which is particularly effective at suggesting grubby industrial landscapes and claustrophobic interiors, reinforcing the harshness of the situation in which Merrick finds himself. Anyone with an ounce of compassion will find precious little relief in this film from beginning to end.

Failan (South Korea - 2001)

Choi Min Sik is superb as Kang Jae - a low level gangster who's instructed to marry Failan - a young Chinese girl who arrives in Korea for work. Initially put out at this inconvenient and dull assignment he quickly signs the paperwork and they part ways. The film becomes much more moving as we get to know Failan better. A thoroughly decent and hard working soul, all she wants is to make enough money to send some back home for her family. Over a period of time Failan suffers from the poor conditions she has to endure, contracts tuberculosis and slowly withers and dies. Kang Jae is soon notified of her death and has to travel cross-country to identify the body. As he travels by train he goes through her personal effects and finds the journal she kept. By the time he reaches his destination he's fallen deeply in love with her. Obviously very sad as she's dead and he never did get to know her while she was alive. Indeed she was alone for the whole time with no-one to care for her.

The Hairdresser's Husband (France - 1990)

This is a wonderfully engaging film featuring an affecting performance by Jean Rochefort as a man who has lusted after the local hairdresser and asks her to marry him on impulse one day. Surprisingly she accepts and they settle into a pictaresque life of contentment and happiness. The film lulls you into thinking it's going to just be a quirky little off-the-wall romance but then it pulls the rug out from under you at the end when things take a very dark turn and Rochefort's wife commits suicide. Both he and the audience are at a loss as to why she would do such a thing as they were both so happy in their lives. As it turns out she killed herself precisely because she was so happy. It's one thing to know that you may have driven your wife to suicide because you made her miserable, but driving her to suicide by being happy - that's a hard pill to swallow.

Jean De Florette (France - 1986)

There's nothing quite as sad as watching a vibrant, energetic man having his spirit broken and his hopes and dreams shattered. That's the central theme of this film. Gerard Depardieu plays the tile character - a kind and generous hunchback filled with a joi de vivre who dreams of making his fortune breeding rabbits. So he buys some land and sets about growing vegetables to feed his rabbits. Unbeknownst to him though Cesar - the old man who owns the field next to him has diverted the natural spring that supplies Jean's field with precious water so that his own crops will grow. Years pass and Jean can't understand why he's so unlucky, when all the time he's being plotted against by the twisted old man and his nephew. The terrible truth of the situation is never revealed to Jean who dies penniless and broken, while Cesar becomes a wealthy man. Now that's harsh; it's one thing victimising someone who's wronged you, but it's another matter entirely to do that to a perfectly innocent man who's been nothing but nice to you.

Remains of The Day (UK - 1993)

One of the great themes of literature and films is unrequited love. It's a distressing thing to watch as it's so easy to identify with what's happening up there on the screen. Unrequited love is one thing, but I think it's even more sad when the love is mutual but unspoken, as it is in this film. Anthony Hopkins is magnificent as the head butler of a country manor and Emma Thompson is also excellent as the head housekeeper. The film's set back in the days when it was unseemly to show one's affections in public and true love was oftentimes very awkward because everyone was just so repressed. There's a thousand intimate conversations unsaid between these two and you're willing Hopkins to just say what he feels because they're so right for each other - but he doesn't, and then they part without him ever revealing his true feelings. Near the end of the film they meet years later and you think, Yes! - Finally he's going to say something! And you can see it in Thompson's eyes that she's still willing him to reveal his love for her. And yet...and yet it still doesn't happen - he just can't bring himself to do it. It's all so desperately depressing.